it's late in night

when was the last time since my last blog?  more than half year already i guess.  well just have the mood suddenly to blog something out tonight, maybe i was dealing with tons of stress especially from school works.  The thesis writing is killing me, but finally now i could get a gasp of breeze as everything had almost done.

tonight went to youth with such a happy and yet exciting mood, but came back with long face.. just through her sharing, i just realized that i had never be good enough to share her problems, reduce her stress as well as trying to comfort her when she's choked by tons of works.  It was such a break in heart when the words came out from her mouth, no one can understand the stress i facing, no one can help me to reduce my stress.  yeah everyone knows she's my girlfriend, so indirectly this will plant on people's mind that i'm such a bad boyfriend who did not care at all for her.  yeah, it was a big turn off for the exciting night, but i just have to calm myself down, after all it was my fault not to being good enough for her.

she's just too perfect in everyone's eyes, this had made me want to be a better man in order to be able to stand up in front of people beside her.  but this kind of feeling just started to giving me stress, it's not about what she can give me, is she's the girl that i'm looking for, but it is about what i'm capable of, what can i give her, what can i do more for her, i'm not a good boy and even with bad image in front of people, how people might think when i'm holding her hand? 

i always said, do not concern on what people think, just stick to the thing that we think is right, but deep inside my heart i do actually care about how people think about me.  i'm starting to feel uncomfortable to participate in church actitivities, where i start to think nonsense on how people sees me, she had found a good job, she's good helper in church, a very good girl in the eyes of the adults, but what are me?  this feeling i can tell nobody, it starts to choke me harder and harder each and every day..

Wake up early in the morning, first thing to do is to update my blog! Someone complained that i did not update my blog for a long time =( .. these lately (11/6~4/8) i have been busy on working part time job as a promoter at padawan fair... permata.. and also spring.. craving for money to fill the 'hole' in my bank account due to over 'tukking' money from atm.. well.. during my working time, someone did something very sweet and touching for me! she sent 爱心便当 to me! inside got cha mee hun la.. 2 sausages.. the sausages look damn pity.. many scars.. >< besides that, got 2 slices apple and oranges la.. and 100 plus! haha! Other than tat, i brought her to my grandmother house yesterday, and we having lunch there.. well kinda excited and nervous rite? haha!

Next, we are practising every thursday for the incoming performance.. this time no keyboard and 2 guitarists are the main instrument player.. and im the one of it.. =( not much pressure but i will do my best.. since last year March, i picked up guitar and i cant get it off; although i did not attend for official class, and i dont know how to see 'taugeh' but im sure i can do alot better than others one day! because my teacher is God! taddaa!!

Big day for u and me =)

it was 6 11 yesterday and it's our very 1st anniversary, well we had our simple celebration for it. 1st of all.. we went to spring and bought movie tickets and it was Xmen the first class.. the movie started on 4.30pm but we were too earlier cos we reached by 1pm.. so we just walk around. We were thinking to buy couple shirts for this anniversary, actually she had already bought but the quality isn't good.. we passed by body glove shop and saw red and yellow couple shirts and then i asked her whether to buy or not? she didnt answer and jus shook her head.. the reason she don wan to buy is because she knows i wear neither red nor yellow shirts..

time passed and then we finally got into the cinema. The movie wasnt bad at all.. nice storyline and it finished around 6.30 and we heading to our dinner place. We chose Bangsana as our dinner venue because she mentioned the place before and we haven got chances to go there, the environment was pretty nice.. she ordered fish and chips and i ordered chicken chop as our dinner.. we haven forgot to buy ourself a piece of cake as its our 1st anniversary! The night was ended with singing K with our bandmates, they came and meet us jus after we finish our dinner..

all i want to say to her is that i love u, thanks for ur caring and tolerate me all the time.. i appreciate our relationship alot, i never met someone like u and i never had a such great memories before.. thank so much..

b.a.b.e

ui!! nah! don complain me for don updating my blog liao a! this 1 is especially for u! i jus wanna tell u tat I WAN PINCH UR FACE! MUAHAHAHA!!

Sorry but i'm pointing at u!

hey u! the man with mask! what the hell wrong with you? i'm sickening seeing ur attitude! CLAP HORSE FART!! so enjoying huh? building relationship with those richies? u as a leader still act like tis? i'm embarassing of u! let me list out ur crimes!

1) obviously when caroling.. ur group is full with rich families..
2) obviously.. ur group visits big huz.. ours? kampung..
3) i saw u owez mix around with richies..
4) u treats the richies' kids differently..
5) u.. abandon those normal kids.. push dem to altarboy reason: they not interested in singing
6) u request for one of the rich kids to remain in choir, but the kid told me he wanted to be altarboy
7) u... never give the chance to normal people, only to rich people or their kids!

wth are u?! i'm sick of u!! mr fake man!!

DEARDY! it's 11th of the month again!! happy birthday!

JYJY BABE!!